Do any of these indoor cyclists remind you of someone? From the abnormally vocal student to the texter, if you cycle frequently you’ve probably come across some of these cartoon characters. Or… you are one!
1. The 8-towler.
Dude likes to keep dry.
2. The guy who is SO HAPPY HE CAN’T CONTROL IT.
His eyes are usually closed, and he is often swaying around like a drunkard, spraying his hair sweat everywhere. Dude is PSYCHED.
3. The person who is not following any of the instructor’s directions.
I refuse to memorialize this person with a picture, as this is my least favorite kind of rider. Don’t eff with the flow.
4. The body builder.
Teetering precariously on his bike,
This guy reminds me of the scene in Despicable Me where Gru’s spaceship gets shrunken by Vector (with the shrink-ray (start at 1:28):
5. The texter.
Sometimes secretly, sometimes not. The worst part about this is that spinning rooms are typically dark, so every time she gets a text I am temporarily blinded.
6. The person who didn’t know how to set up her bike.
Instructors. Help us out here. This is totally distracting.
7. The fawner.
This person is legit obsessed with the instructor. Can always be found in the front row, often donning instructor-related paraphernalia.
8. The person wearing a sweater.
This person makes me particularly uncomfortable. Just looking at them makes me itchy/hot. Sometimes this comes in the form of a matching sweat suit.
9. Hard-core bandanna lady.
She’s wearing a bandanna, is usually in her late-30s early-40s, and she may have previously been in a biker gang. Harley gang or a triathalon gang? Unclear.
10. The cycler who responds VEHEMENTLY to every command the instructor gives.
11. Lance Armstrong.
Well, no. He’s not Lance. But he is wearing full-out, wind-proof cycling gear, potentially carrying GU on his person. Just in case, you know.
12. Mr. high-socks man.
I think this is my dad. We would be wearing loafers, too, if it were allowed.
13. The emotive struggler.
This person, judging by the look on his face, is constantly at high risk for cardiac arrest.
14. The studio bomber.
This only happens in specific, high-competition studios (EH EM), but this person is loyal to one studio, and shows up at the other studio just to be an asswipe and cause problems. If you want to see what the “other world” is up to, that’s totally cool. But don’t show up just to hate. So. Lame.
15. The spiderwoman.
She’s off-beat, her form is all over the place… help a sista out before she breaks something!
16. The increasingly-naked rider.
Hm. I know nothing about this one…
BONUS 17: The seemingly disagreeing rider.
Despite the smile, she must be disagreeing with something, because she’s been vigorously shaking her head “no” all class long.
Did we miss any? Which one are you? blog.rateyourburn.com