Lori Hudson’s Goal Posts: What Really Matters? Seeking the right goals and encouraging those around you

Week four of a 4-week series: A Sense of Accomplishment and Leaving a Legacy

Taking time to explore and share with others, while understanding their personality traits allows us to encourage and uplift those around us.  While personalities differ, developmental psychologist, Erik Erikson, believed that we all have an inherent desire to feel a sense of accomplishment.  According to Erikson, there are eight psychosocial stages in life. He believed individuals in their early thirties to mid sixties have a primary task in life that is centered on generativity (giving to others) versus isolation.  According to him, people in their second stage of life find meaning by nurturing, enriching, encouraging and caring for others.  He believed that people in this stage of life who lack a sense of generativity become stagnant and move through life without a real sense of purpose.

If you feel you can relate to Erikson’s assertions, here are some questions you may want to consider:

1. Do you have a sense of stagnation and are you looking for that feeling of accomplishment and fulfillment in life?

2. Have your priorities become focused on nurturing and inspiring the next generation and for those around you? Are you leaving a legacy?

3. Do you feel needed?

4. Have you created something that has impacted the life of another?

5. What acts of kindness do you do for others?

If you weren’t pleased at how some of these questions were answered, generativity at this stage in your life would be considered low. This according to Erikson would mean stagnation is present. Physical and emotional affects on the body begin to take place when stagnation sets in.  When our emotional wellbeing is out of balance, physical effects on the body could manifest as some of the following:

  • Upset stomach
  • Weight loss or gain
  • Constipation or diarrhea
  • Fatigue
  • High blood pressure
  • Dry mouth
  • Hair loss
  • Appetite changes
  • Sleep difficulties and irregularities
  • Stiff neck
  • Back pain
  • General aches and pains


Over time, these symptoms wear the body down, and could result in an array of illnesses.  So, look at your goals, examine your life make sure that they are matching up.  If you feel your life is stagnant, like someone pushed the pause button, find inspiration through your goals.  Motivation combined with perseverance creates change!  Again I ask…what drives you? Live a life motivated by what drives you!

After my late husband passed away, I felt that my life had not only been put on pause, but that it had utterly stopped.   I believe this feeling of stagnation can often accompany grief, and I truly felt this manifest after he died. While others had their spouse or loved one to lean on, I no longer did.  My encourager, motivator and mate was not there.  Even though I was pregnant at the time, I felt a confusing mix of emotions, the conflict between a life growing inside me versus a life that was no longer here.  How could I move forward when my world had suddenly been turned up side down?  As mentioned last week, life-changing events can alter our paths, personality traits, and even how we view the world.  Even though my life felt stagnant, I knew in my heart that I had to move forward.  In order to accept what people often refer to as “your new normal” encompasses more than words can describe.  The same three things that motivated me then to push forward still motivate me to this day. One, knowing that my Creator was carrying and sustaining me. Two, using my life-changing experience to touch the lives of others, and three, for my son to be proud of the choices I’ve made in the midst of it all.

When our desires are centered on generativity, or giving to others, we move forward. A deep sense of fulfillment is born when we do this and can begin to live a rich and meaningful life!

Please share how you have changed and are working in the lives of others.



Lori_frontblogImageDEFINE’s senior instructor and anatomy specialist, Lori Hudson Bertrand D.C., R.N. is a doctor in chiropractic and registered nurse. Her love for helping people through education about anatomy and physiology drives her to continue to share her experiences and knowledge with others as they pursue their journey towards health and restoration!